Speaking Information & Topics
Through his extensive life, ministry, and discipleship experience, Kevin Paterson has gleaned a wealth of wisdom to impart to singles. He has worked with youth, young adult, and singles ministries—and as a pastor, ministry overseer, and international speaker—for much of his adult life. During a long personal season as a Christian single himself, Kevin has developed a passion to train, inspire and mentor others on that journey. Over the past four years he has spoken at singles events and relational training workshops throughout the SF Bay Area. He has also authored a book called Straight Talk to Christian Singles.
With his inspiring style, and gift for calling and inspiring believers higher in who God has made them, Kevin is available to speak at churches, conferences, retreats and events for people of all ages/stages, especially Christian singles. Some of the topics listed below are applicable for general adult audiences, while most of them are specifically tailored to minister to Christian singles. The talks below are divided into multi-session events (workshops, conferences or retreats) and single session talks (which can also be combined for multi-session events). If you would like to discuss bringing Kevin in to speak to your young adult, single adult or other church group, please contact him at info@JourneyForChristianSingles.com.
Workshops, Conference & Retreat Topics (multi-session events)
The following four “Dating for Keeps” workshops are designed as self-contained one-day events, (which can also become a multi-day retreat or conference instead), with four sessions plus a question & answer session. Though each workshop builds on the others, they also stand on their own so that participants can jump in at any time and fill up on biblical and relational rocket fuel for their dating life. (Each of the topics listed can also become a single talk at an event.) Each workshop includes a work book, along with table group and large group interaction time.
Dating For Keeps 1: Victorious Mindsets for Successful Relationships
This workshop is designed to inspire and help Christian single adults cultivate mindsets, skills and biblical wisdom that will prepare them for fulfilling godly relationships. The event will include training sessions with Kevin (& Claudia) Paterson, discussion and connection times, and a question & answer period. Sessions will cover the following topics (among others):
- Breaking Free from Dating Myths
- Developing Victorious Mindsets that Attract Great Relationships
- Road Map from the Dating Desert to the Promised Land
- A special bonus mini-topic plus a “Straight Talk” Q&A
Participants should come expecting to enjoy a lively day of connecting and learning, and ready to receive from Kevin (& Claudia), a special impartation for successful Kingdom Relationships. This workshop will inspire attendees to “dig in” together and get serious about mind transformation and dream fulfillment. This workshop will inspire a relational revolution that will foster the inner and outer breakthroughs God wants for each individual.
Kevin (& Claudia) will share from their lives about some inner and outer transformation keys that prepared them to meet and marry. Then participants will enjoy “table talk” time to learn and discuss together. Kevin (& Claudia) will also give a personal prayer impartation for each participant, to accelerate their path to personal, dating & marriage breakthroughs. Participants should come expecting and believing to be changed forever!
“Dating for Keeps” Workshop #2 – Living From the Inside Out
Many Singles wonder why they find it so challenging to develop great friendships and dating relationships that lead to kingdom marriage. Some blame their challenges on the “issues” of the opposite sex, a dysfunctional culture, or the lack of “eligible” or “suitable” potential dates in their community. Others seem to believe that if things were different—if they lived in a city with more eligible singles, were part of a bigger church or a more “happening” singles community, could discover a better online dating site, find the “one,” or learn better skills with the opposite sex—that their dating and relationship problems would be solved.
The reality is, that in 90% of cases, most of the hindrances to effective relationships leading to marriage are not found outside of each person—the main obstacles are usually deep inside the heart and mind of each single Christian. Once those areas are transformed, relational breakthroughs often happen quickly. It’s called living from the inside out!
During this second of four one-day “Dating for Keeps” workshops, we will lay the “Heart Foundations” that will help Christian singles…
- Grow into the Person that is attractive from the inside out
- Become the healed, whole, marriageable person God wants them to be
- Develop rock solid confidence in God’s love & their great value
- Become the attractive person others want to get to know
Workshop topics to be presented & discussed:
- Getting God’s life-changing love from your head to your heart
- Healing the heart from disappointment and past Hurts
- Developing bullet-proof hope and the “feeling/knowing” of worth
- Cultivating a healing, relational community
- Finding joy in existing relationships you never thought possible
As each person deals with the deepest issues of the heart—father issues, forgiveness, wrong attitudes, emotional wounds, wrong beliefs about God and life, a negative perceptions of self and others, and many other buried traps—many of the outside relational and dating struggles quickly change. This workshop is designed to help even the most seemingly “together” singles, or those that have worked on their stuff for a long time, achieve the inner breakthrough that will take them into the relationship “revival” they are longing for.
Dating For Keeps 3: Great Communication for Successful Relationships
This workshop is designed to inspire and help Christian single adults cultivate communication skills, and biblical wisdom that will prepare them for fulfilling godly relationships. This workshop is designed to help single believers become skilled communicators with the opposite sex. The event will include training sessions with Kevin (& Claudia) Paterson, discussion and connection times, and a question/answer period. Sessions will include the following topics:
- Fun, Stress-Free Communication for First Time Meetings
- Conversation Skills & Tools for Effortlessly Getting to Know Others
- Empowering Conversation with the Language of “Love & Respect”
- Attitudes, Body Language & Skills that Attract the Attention of the Opposite Sex
- Developing the Ability to Enjoy People and Take Conversations Deeper
- Keys for Resolving Conflict and Developing Harmonious Relationships
- And, the Always Popular “Straight Talk” Q&A
Singles are encouraged to come expecting to enjoy a lively day of connecting and learning, ready to receive from God, as well as receive a special impartation for successful Kingdom Relationships. They should come ready for their dating lives to be changed forever!:-)
Dating For Keeps 4: Navigating Practical “How to’s” of Christian Dating (with group mentoring)
This workshop is designed to inspire and help Christian single adults cultivate skills, as well as heart and biblical wisdom that will prepare them for fulfilling, godly relationships. The event will include training sessions with Kevin (& Claudia Paterson), discussion and connection times, and a question/answer period. Sessions will include the following topics:
- How to get in the dating game… or amp up your dating life.
- How to discern your invisible dating barriers and overcoming them.
- How to do intimacy well, and win someone’s heart.
- How to break up well, with care and respect.
- How to develop a dating culture of honor and leave a legacy of relational blessing.
- How to partner with the Holy Spirit in your dating life.
- And, the always popular “Straight Talk” Q&A
- Plus… A special “bonus” group mentoring session (for those that request it)
Come expecting to enjoy a lively day of connecting and learning, ready to receive from Kevin and Claudia as well as receive a special impartation for successful Kingdom Relationships. This workshop is designed to help you overcome personal barriers, and launch you into godly, successful dating! Come ready for your dating life to be changed forever!
* Click here to read testimonials about our training events and ministry.
General Church Congregation or General Conference Talk
(*These talks can also be combined for multi-session events)
The Singles Revolution
Over the last few decades, in America and beyond, an enemy- and culturally-stirred perfect storm has formed that is causing more and more adults to delay marriage, or not marry at all. If the enemy can’t destroy strong Christian marriages, he can keep them from forming before they can assault his kingdom. Recent statistics indicate that among adults over 18, singles are fast becoming the majority. And this trend has also begun to be reflected in the church, with some churches today attended by up to 70 percent or more single adults.
Most of these Christian singles want to become married, but don’t know how to overcome the numerous hindrances to the life partnerships they desire. And, in a largely marriage-and-family-church-culture today, many believers and church leaders aren’t sure what to do, how to minister to all these singles… or, even, what challenges actually need to be addressed. Single adults need to feel like they are understood, valued, and belong in the wider life of the church… so that they don’t wander from church to church or even outside their spiritual family looking for love and understanding. They need relational and spiritual support to overcome their challenges.
In this talk, Kevin clearly outlines the cultural trends and challenges highlighted by the growing population of single adults. He also helps the church family at large understand how to compassionately care for, understand, support, and help single believers live victorious lives, serve well within community, and enter the fulfilling relationships and connection to the wider church that most of them deeply desire. The body of Christ must join together as a family to secure victory and transformation for single believers, to transformational the world, and to accomplish the great commission.
(*These talks can also be combined for multi-session events)
The Inner “Attraction Factor”
Many Christian singles grapple daily with a bombardment of negative thoughts that undermine their core identity, and even confidence that they are lovable or attractive to others. They wonder whether God truly loves them, whether they are fully forgiven, and whether He is truly pleased with them. Overwhelmed with the demands of life, they wonder how they can experience the abundant life Jesus came to give them. Many singles also wonder whether God is really good, and if He is, whether He really wants to bless their lives… especially their relational lives. This talk will help Christian singles answer these questions and come to know God’s goodness and awesome loving thoughts toward them. They’ll come to experience these truths in the depths of their souls, truths that will become the greatest force to propel their lives into victorious living, and successful relationships with God and others.
“Who’s Your Papa?”… a transformation encounter
Just before the new Pope was chosen, this was the main question going out over twitter and around the world: “Who’s your Papa?” It’s a vital question everyone today should answer, particularly Christian single adults. Honestly grappling with, and walking out, the answer will transform lives, careers, ministries and relationships. Singles lives will be deeply impacted by this message about the heavenly Father’s extravagant love, just as Kevin life was radically changed by an extraordinary miracle that answered this question for him. This is not just a message, but an encounter with Papa.
Finding the One!
In this talk, Kevin tackles one of the top questions that Christian singles ask or often seem to have on their minds – “How can I find ‘the one?'” They believe that this right “one” will one day show up in their life… it’s that day that all the stars align, and that God shifts world and life events to make this relationship happen! They want to know if there “really” is a specific certain “one” and only person on the planet they’re meant to marry, as many suggest. And, if so, how they can find this person in the planetary haystack, and also, how will they know they’ve found that person, that special “one” that will become their marriage partner.
In this talk, Kevin examines the common cultural idea of “the one,” “the right person,” or “my soul mate” to see whether it lines up with Scripture. He also discusses the impact of this idea on Christian singles successfully finding a good kingdom marriage partner, and a different mindset for walking out relationships toward marriage. This new understanding can launch them into successful dating, courtship and marriage… and a life partnership that will help them fulfill their divine calling and make an impact on the world.
Kingdom Marriage – A Higher Vision for Singles
In this enlightening and fun talk, Kevin examines the main purposes of Christian marriage, according to Scripture. He gives a higher vision—God’s vision—that will inspire and clarify the journey forward to great relationships and a highly fulfilling marriage. Without such a clear vision about what they are looking for, Christian singles often find themselves lost and struggling in the dating world. However, once they see what God’s highest purposes for marriage are, they start to consistently making the right choices that lead to great life-long relationships.
Power Tools for Effective Communication
In this talk, Kevin will discuss the importance of effective communication in all relationships, especially opposite sex interactions. He’ll unpack the different mindsets, attitudes, and practical tools necessary for outstanding communication that sets up great relationships, dating and marriage. This will be a fun, interactive learning session that equips Christian singles for success in all relationships.
Every relationship, whether it involves friends, relatives or opposite-sex situations, will suffer misunderstanding and conflict. However, the difference between people whose relationships harmoniously weather the storm, and those that falter, is the understanding of how to “fight fair.” Without learning the “rules of engagement” and honing their skills for conflict resolution, Christian singles will struggle to succeed in their relational life, and find their opposite-sex relationships often disintegrate or becoming distant. In this talk, Kevin, gives believers biblical training keys, essential mindsets, and effective “love-talk” principals for working out issues with their significant others, whether they are dates, family or friends. These essential skills discussed during this engaging, interactive, role-play session will prepare singles for successful relationships that go the distance.
Love & Respect for Singles
Many Christian singles understand that men and women have different emotional and relational needs, and look for different qualities in a future date or life partner. Some even understand that women usually and primarily seek love in their relational life, and that men usually seek respect above all else. However, very few people understand what that “love” and “respect” factor looks like for the opposite sex. This talk will not only help Christian singles understand biblical “love & respect” but will help them see these needs from the perspective of single adults of the opposite sex. They’ll begin to see, feel and understand many of the unanswered questions they have about their relational challenges. And, most importantly, Christian singles will learn how to relate, act, and communicate with the opposite sex in a way that meets the other person’s deepest needs, overcomes dating challenges, and amps up the attraction factor that leads to great relationships and marriage.
Out of the Dating Desert
In this talk, Kevin provides insights into the main obstacles that keep Christian singles from leaving the dating desert, and keys that will help them find their way to the promised-land oasis. In this inspiring message, he will describe the heart attitudes, mindsets, new skills, and practical actions that have helped a great number of singles in his ministry find fulfilling relationships, especially with the opposite sex. Christian singles will leave this session encouraged, carrying new spiritual and practical tools for a successful dating life.
How to Attract the Opposite Sex God’s Way
Single adults will learn how to attract the opposite sex God’s way, in this talk, by allowing Him to unveil their inner treasures, from the inside and out. They will discover how to live single life with great joy and passion, how to activate the availability or initiative factor, develop relational honor, and see the glory of God in others. Kevin will help singles position themselves for favor with God and others, prepare their inner and outer worlds, guard their hearts, and do the “dating dance.” This talk will put each attendee on an accelerated journey to becoming the confident, secure, wise person that attracts the opposite sex and enjoys a healthy and exciting relational life.
Battle of the Sexes
In this talk, Kevin navigates the differences of the sexes—the “Men are from Mars, Women from Venus” phenomenon—that tends to cause misunderstanding in relationships and tension in our culture… a culture that often inspires conflict between the genders. How should we approach this battle, and these differences? In this talk, Kevin will help Christian singles understand how to relate to the opposite sex in meeting, dating, and other scenarios, and how to navigate relational minefields to develop great win-win opposite sex relationships.
Dating Etiquette for the 21st Century
In these days of fast changing technology and social mores, it’s just hard to keep up with cultural dating expectations and balance them with biblical values. In addition, as most singles today have not learned the art of “courtship,” “chivalry” and “dating etiquette” as they used to decades ago, many are just not sure of “what’s expected and what’s not.” This talk will help Christian singles navigate the do’s and don’ts of the dating world, when meeting, greeting, getting to know and dating the opposite sex. Men will learn how to treat a lady in a way that causes the world of women to buzz with excitement and pause in wonder. Women will discover how to act like a lady in a way that raises their value and switches a man’s pursuit instinct into high gear.
Sex Talk for the Single Christian
Clearly, this is a topic on most every single Christian’s mind – so, let’s talk about it! Most singles wrestle with the temptations or our over sexualized world and struggle to synchronize Scriptural teaching with the very different cultural mores. In this session, Kevin will boldly venture into the following subjects:
- To flirt or not to flirt
- Honor in a sensual world
- Taming the inner urge
- Temptation or Treat
- Sane sexuality in an insane world
- How not to let religion neuter you
- The power to overcome
- Porn or beauty?
- Knowing when to say “no” and how to draw the line
- The greatest passion and how to cultivate it
This session is sure to be informative and engaging as Kevin addresses and discusses this important and relevant topic from a biblical perspective.
Listen Up! Easy Ways to Hear from God Every Day
Whether you feel like a newbie, a pro, or even just skeptical about this whole premise of “God speaking today,” you’ll get something from the session. We’ll learn and practice simple, yet life-changing techniques of “listening prayer.” And, along the way, we’ll tackle thoughts like these: “Other people hear God, but not me;” “I don’t think God is speaking anymore;” “What if I hear incorrectly or make something up?” and “Hearing God is for faith superstars, not for me.”
Great Expectations: Entering Your Promised Land
This session will help Christian singles leave behind deferred hope and enter their “positive expectation of good” (hope) through the power of transformed mindsets. In the midst of a world of discouragement and bad news, God wants to help His people enter into their inheritance, their promised land. As Christians grow as hope-filled believers, they begin to naturally trust in the goodness of God—that’s when they bear great fruit in their lives. This talk will give singles a new injection of hope to overcome challenges, live joyfully and victoriously and to see dreams fulfilled.
The Relationships Dance
We’ll be discussing the fun opposite-gender relationship dynamics in our talk and group discussion, by examining the different roles during meeting, friendship, dating and beyond. How did God create each party in this Mars/Venus, Spaghetti/Waffle interaction? Are there specific roles we need to know about? If so, what do they look like? The answers will be fun and enlightening.
Friendships that Change the World!
In this talk, Kevin will examine the power of authentic friendships and unpack the practical “how to’s” for successful connections with others. He’ll also discuss the force of “covenant,” the basic building block for relationships that our covenant-breaking world has rejected. During this session, Christian singles will not only receive a new understanding of true David/Jonathan, Ruth/Naomi friendships, they’ll also be empowered to pursue and enter these friendships that change the world. (This session could become a series of talks.)
Big, Audacious, Dreams with God
Buried deep in every heart lies a divine passion and plan that, when discovered and implemented, can change the world! At least the sphere of influence each person is called to influence. In this talk, Kevin examines the big, audacious, dreams God has for each believer, and how each Christian single can find his or her , and implement God’s plan. In this session, Christian singles will be inspired to partner with God, boldly living their life adventure, and walking out their divine destiny!
What’s Your Delta Force Mission?
Christian singles in this crazy, mixed-up culture, needs to be clear about their mission in order to live a victorious life. Each believer, whether he or she realizes it or not, is part of a spiritual, elite, “special forces team.” But it’s time for a briefing on the divine Captain’s commands so as to fully understand and prep for the mission He’s giving. Let’s talk about what this looks like in a singles community, how the world has perverted it, and… how, together, we can create a counter-cultural revolution of healthy dating, friendships, and huge impact!
Let ‘Em Know Who’s Boss
Do struggles and circumstances get you down? Do challenges at work or in relationships frustrate you or steal your peace? Are you taking charge of every area of your life? And, are you allowing God to invade your life with His love, while partnering with Him to take back what the enemy wants to steal? You see, as Christian believers, filled with the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, you and I are called to live like King’s kids and partner with Him to show life who’s boss! In this session, Christian singles will learn, discuss, and experience how!
Destined for Favor
Do you believe that God has given you special favor—favor for every area of your life—career, finances, ministry, and relationships? Do you know that He is favoring and empowering you to do something significant that will impact and transform lives? As Christian believers, filled with the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, you and I are called to walk in favor and be a blessing. In this talk, Kevin will discuss how every believer can fully embrace and live in God’s grace, His unmerited favor, and in turn, pour that blessing on others.
The Making of Super Heroes
The box office hits of movies like Avengers, Iron Man, and Captain America, are evidence of a craving for Super Heroes in our culture, a craving the church doesn’t seem to be satisfying. In this talk, Kevin will examine the heart-level longing for a hero within each person, and how Jesus, our ultimate Super Hero, can satisfy that craving each day of our lives. Then, he’ll discuss each Christian singles’ calling to also be a “supernatural” hero in this world, and how he or she can become an overcomer and victorious, commissioned, Kingdom son or daughter.
How to Really Know & Love God Effortlessly!
In this talk, Kevin will help Christian singles walk through the greatest spiritual door to overcoming Christian lives and fulfilling relationships. That door? Experiential knowledge of the grace and love of God (Eph. 3:19-21 AMP). Many believers’ love and grace cups are half empty, and they have little, overflowing, abundant life to give away to others. These Christians sometimes sabotage their relationships with the opposite sex by coming across as insecure, unconfident or even needy. Through this talk and impartation prayer time, participants will receive new heart (not just head) understandings and revelations of God’s pleasure, goodness and love. They will start to walk out of lack, into lives of abundance, with a never-ending river of life flowing from them into the lives of all those around them. With these vital revelations, single believers will find themselves fully enjoying a blessed dating life and marriage.